A Time to Let People In

This weekend I have been helping my mom with her rummage sale. I have been helping with rummage sales since I was a little girl. It is how I learned how to make change and has been useful in all of my money counting jobs. As any good writer does, I was thinking as we put everything in the garage last night preparing for a cold and rainy day today how this applies to life.

Garage sales are funny things. You put on display all of the things you no longer have use for, so that others who could use them can pay you for them. People go in and out of other people’s garages looking at their things, and judging them based off of what they are getting rid of – at least a little bit. Hearing the conversations that people have about what memories they have, how their day is going, or whatever comes to mind as they shop. Some people push others to buy this or that, others remind their friends that they don’t need any more of whatever. Either way you let people in to see the pieces of life you are okay with letting go of, or the pieces of others lives they have asked you to sell for them.

As a dance teacher, one of the more vulnerable weeks is recital week. It is the time when we show what we have created from our souls. Putting the songs with the moves, costumes, lighting, and seeing it on stage performed after months of creating and perfecting. Now it is time to let so many people see it. We let the dancers do what they will when they get on stage, nerves and all. Sometimes things go better than planned, while others it is what it is. Along with having recital week and letting people in, I was thinking of a few Frozen references about letting people in as I have been volunteering with Frozen Jr over the last few months, and this week is show week! Talk about a busy “spring” time.

Letting people in can be so hard some days. It is easy to shut people out. Shutting people out can happen whether we put ourselves in places with or without other people. Some of us do well being with people and not letting them in. Some of us stay home and spend time away from people to avoid conversation. Most of us fall somewhere in-between if not on one extreme or the other. Why is shutting people out a bad thing? Why is letting people in a good thing? How can we find a healthy balance?

During different seasons of life we will find our balancing place a little different here or there. It is okay to stay in sometimes. It is good to go out and be with people. It is also good to talk and be real with people. Balancing between the three is always going to be a challenge in life. You may find that alone you would do something different than how your significant other, family members, or people you take care of would do. It is okay to give yourself a break from life no matter which stage you are in. Taking a break can look like letting people in, or shutting people out depending on what you need to do more or less of.

We all need a different mix of the three. What are you getting over stimulated by? Where do you find yourself struggling the most- during your time alone, with your family, at your job? What can you do to give yourself a break? On your break what are you going to do?

During my breaks at work, I have been trying to find something funny to laugh at. During my breaks between jobs, I usually take a shower, eat something and take a nap. During my long days/ weekends at home alone, I need to go out and talk to people about what I am mentally processing. I might need time with family, friends or coworkers depending on what I need to talk about. I also know that sometimes as much as I need to talk, so do others. I take my turn to listen and ask about the people I am with, as that is what good friends do. What I need is not always going to be what you need. Different friends with chat differently about different topics, and that is okay.

Journaling is a great resource to let out your feelings and if you need to burn the journal pages or type and delete them, you can do that, too. Sometimes seeing what we are thinking rather than hearing it will allow us to get down to our true feelings and you may be surprised by what you write down because you didn’t know that you needed to label and express it. Just as you may surprise yourself by saying out loud to a friend or family member what you have been needing to hear yourself say.

You may be like Anna and be excited to let people into your life. You may be scared and timid like Elsa. You will learn along the way that it is good to release your inner feelings, but sometimes you will hurt people along the way. You may find yourself in love with someone who just isn’t right for you. You may find yourself loosing people in your life that you don’t know how to live without them. You may meet a really good friend along the way who helps you more than they know. You may run into things from your past that encourage you or that stop you from moving forward. No matter where you are in your life may you never be truly frozen. Let someone in. Let a few people in. Let the people in your community in.

My hope is that you look at where you are. Figure out what you need, and take a break. Be kind to yourself. Let people in.

– Em