A Time to Let Your Heart Hurt

Last night one of my younger dancers was telling me that her heart hurt. She was physically motioning like she was experiencing anxiety. I said we can sit down. I calmed my breathing. I encouraged her to slow her breathing. She wanted to go across the room, so I let her. I said let’s just sit and breath. I did my normal run down to make sure nothing else was physically hurting her. After a few minutes I asked if she wanted to try dancing again as sometimes dance can help us forget about what is bothering us. She said she didn’t want to spin. So we did the routine we have been working on without spinning, and she felt better. We did some free silly dancing and she was back to normal. That’s when I realized that I did the right thing.

Sometimes life just keeps spinning before we can get a grip of what is happening. We start to loose control and we are not sure what to do next. This can be a once in a great while occurrence or a multiple times a day experience depending on what you are going through. Here is what works for me and what worked for my dancer as we worked through her anxiety in class…

1. Take a moment to breathe. Don’t change your breath right away, just notice how you are breathing. Then slowly make your breath deeper and slower.

2. Think about what hurts, and describe what that hurt feels like. Is it in multiple spots or just one? – This may be where you may need a doctor or therapist depending on the amount and location of the pain.

3. Know that it is okay to feel hurt. Don’t feel pressured to continue moving forward all of the time. Take a moment to sit with your thoughts and feel your emotions. Each one of us have so many thoughts in a day and unfortunately most of them are negative, and it takes a lot of work to flip out thoughts to be mostly positive. Along with that our country and our world have so many changes every day. So much is going on – figure out boundaries for yourself to stay informed, but not be consumed.

4. Find a way to release your hurt. Have a moment of ugly crying. Talk to someone you trust. Dance. Go for a walk outside. Paint. Write. Build something. Do your favorite hobby. Something that you can do and let the world fade away. As much as it is okay to feel hurt, it is okay to release them and keep living life.

5. Don’t forget that prayer works. Depending on your level of anxiety or where your faith is at, prayer might be the first thing or the last thing you think of doing. I personally usually pray between feeling hurt and looking for a release. Along with a physical and mental release, a spiritual release is also needed. Trust that God knows, and He’s got a plan to work out what is best for you.

*I am not a therapist or a doctor. I live with anxiety. I have worked at both of my current jobs with coworkers and dancers who have anxiety. It has taken time to recognize that motions towards the middle chest or heart are often due to anxious feelings. I know that not every dancer will feel release of anxiety with these steps, but last night she did.

As the world continues to change, I think it is important to know that we are all going to react a little differently to what is happening. We are all going to care a little more or a little less than the person next to us. We are going to feel some emotions more strongly than others during different days and moments of the days. Letting moments like these happen I think is the right thing to do. Saying to “Get over it” is not going to help anyone. Holding in your feelings is just going to make you explode at something or someone who doesn’t deserve your inner built up wrath.

My prayer is that you find ways like above to take care of yourself so that you can help take care of others. I pray you find a release that helps you feel what you need to with or without the words. Take those moments for yourself, for the kids in your life, and for the adults in your life, too. It is okay to feel hurt. It is okay to keep on living, too.

-Em